Escape the Insanity

Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

What is Narcissistic Abuse?

What is Narcissistic Abuse?

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The Slow, Subtle, Systematic Erasing of Your Identity


Narcissistic Abuse is a pattern of relating which causes significant emotional trauma and consists of “The Nasty Nine”. These tactics serve as a means to erode your identity, confidence, self-esteem, and leave you questioning your own reality, purpose, and self-worth. 


Many people mistakenly believe that an abusive relationship must include physical violence. Although narcissistic abuse can certainly include violence, it often consists of verbal, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual abuse.


     


How Do I Identify It?

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 The Nasty Nine

 

Love Bombs – Showers you with gifts and attention so you do not see the negative, Professes you're their soulmate, they've never met anyone like you (or that you've never met anyone like them), You're special and deserve someone equally special.

Charms—others think this person is awesome, because he/she never shows his true colors to others. Has thousands of stories of how special he is and how everyone loves him/her

Gaslights – twists your words, denies saying things, convinces you that you misunderstood them – even when you have proof

Controls—“lets” you (or does not “let you”) do things – emotionally manipulates you with “if you loved me you would (or wouldn't) _____” 

Isolates—tries to keep you from spending time with your friends and loved ones     Blames/Refuses to take Responsibility—everything is everyone else's (or your) fault; everyone else is crazy, including all of their exes and former friends.

Berates—demeans, belittles, verbally abuses, or embarrasses you in front of others 

Ghosts – suddenly disappears; doesn’t respond to texts or voicemails; doesn’t pick up phone 

Hoovers—returns with their full arsenal of love bombing – excessively calls, texts, emails – will attempt ANYTHING to reestablish the previous connection they had with you.   

Where Do I Go From Here?

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 No Contact


Unfortunately, there is little one can do to change another person. If you are in a narcissistic relationship, there is no amount of educating, explaining, or "heart to hearts" that will change the way your loved one is treating you. They will tell you they understand, they will tell you they will change, they will tell you what you want to hear in order to agree to continue the relationship and be further abused.


No Contact is a form of self-protection. When we are within a toxic relationship, we become unable to fully understand the breadth of what is happening to us; we just know something is wrong and we don't feel the way we used to. No Contact allows us the distance we need to begin to make sense of our experience and take steps to rebuild the life and identity that has been lost.


No Contact is just what it sounds like, you block them on all social media, with your phone provider, email, and cut off any form of communication they might use to contact you. 


Talking to Someone Who's Been There


For more information on how to go "No Contact", drop me a message in the "Contact Us" section at the bottom of the page, I'd be happy to discuss steps you can take to protect yourself and begin living the life you deserve. 


If you haven't already, join my facebook group to gain access to a 24/7 support network of survivors who understand what you are going through.

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